Like any addict, be they opioid user, Love Island viewer, or Trump voter, I make up reaons to justify my habit, rules to control my habit. It’s the Rule of Three for Trader Joe’s Coffee Lover’s Expresso Beans, not that it matters because the cycle always ends in shame and self-loathing.

The reason is fatigue, maybe with a touch of ennuii or long COVID, because sleep is sufficient and exercise daily, so that tired feeling shouldn’t be, but there it is. A cup of coffee, even half, would dispel it as caffeine sunshine through Adenosine brain fog, but my stomach lining would disagree, so a compromise is reached. A few magic chocolate-covered expresso beans for a little cognitive clarity, but magic always has a price, hence the rules:

1. No more than three beans at a time.
2. No more than three bean times a day.
3. No beans after 3:00 PM.

I don’t know how long a 99 cent bag of beans lasts because I’ve never made to the end of one following the rules, instead gobbling what’s left in the jar because reasons. That’s followed by a beans embargo that lasts longer, days for sure, a week or two, but then….

I have to go to Trader Joe’s today.